Some time in early April, after a veritable splurge of activity, I stopped posting. I never made a conscious decision that I wouldn’t write anything new, but somehow, while I was ‘in the zone’ with my writing, life caught up with me.
Little by little I had begun to immerse myself deeper and deeper into my blog and the community of wonderful people that I met there, and at the same time I had begun to detach myself from the very real world of family and friends around me.
The wonderful group of Friday Fictioneers which I had journeyed along with for a couple of months, writing 100 word fiction from a weekly photo prompt, and who welcomed me with so many kind comments, began to consume huge amounts of my time, leaving me precious little for actually writing.
I felt, not obliged, but compelled to read all of the stories each week, because if someone is kind enough to read and comment on your writing it seems to me the proper thing to do to reciprocate – and they are so much fun!
I realise now that this is why I will never have a truly well read blog. Truthfully, I have many demands on my time through work and a young family. I have a wife and three lovely children, and my great love, writing, must take a back seat to those commitments.
When I began this blog it was with the intention of giving myself another outlet when my writing course became a chore, or I lost motivation, or simply to receive a little feedback from fellow writers.
Yet here I am, six months on and I seem to have abandoned my writing course, as if settling for (and here I mean no disrespect) blogging instead of the dream I have of developing my craft into something that can offer me a new way of life, where the work of my mind replaces the work of my hands.
Right now, I am working on a story for a competition and I have a huge project at work that encroaches on my evenings and weekends. I am trying to change my life from two directions: writing in my spare time, which will never do more than entertain me as a hobby unless I succeed in the other angle – simplifying my life to provide more time to write.
I am so grateful to everyone who ever thought that my voice was worth listening to, and I am deeply sorry I dropped off the edge of the world for a while. Sometimes, when things get too much for me, I hide. I am not proud of it, I am ashamed. You deserve so much better than that.
I won’t be posting as much for a while, about once a week I think. I don’t know if there is anyone left out there to read this, maybe you have all gone home now, I wouldn’t blame you if you never came back. But if you happen to see my tumbleweed blowing around the blogosphere I hope you can find it in your heart to send it a smiley face, or perhaps a comment, even if just to let me know how pissed off you are.
Your lousy friend,