The Lighthouse

Hello everyone, this is my first effort at Friday Fictioneers so be gentle with me! Hope you like it, comments are welcome and guarantee a reciprocal visit.

Staircase

Photo Copyright – Jennifer Pendergast

Wilfred looks up, an enormous, unblinking eye regards him from above. A scream scours the whitewashed tower in search of escape.

Senses begin to unscramble. Not an eye, the light over the stairwell.

The fog! The light! Twisted and bloody legs defy his urgent will.

Wilfred curses. Tomorrow the boat home, Tonight the single malt – then the radio warning.

A stagger, a slip on the stair, then oblivion.

Nothing to be done but to wait for help.

Somewhere out beyond the rocks a ship’s horn sounds blindly in the fog.

Wilfred grits his teeth, and prays.



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46 comments

  1. The enormous unblinking eye… a lighthouse, pictured in my mind as I read fog, you have been succinct and yet captured the details brilliantly. Welcome … your first attempt, I am sure there will be many more to come.

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  2. Really atmospheric writing. I love its staccato nature – adds well to the action. My only comment would be ‘a ship’s horn sounds blindly’ – I’m not sure about a horn sounding blindly. But maybe I’m being too literal.
    Claire

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    • I laughed out loud when I read your comment. Yes a ship’s horn sounding blindly does sound odd and a bit humorous when taken in isolation. Perhaps I took a bit too much license with that one but I really wanted to get across the helplessness of the ship and there weren’t many words left!

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  3. The single malt has been the ruin of many a man, but in a lighthouse, well, poor Wilfred. It is true, the more I look at that photo it reminds me of an eye – or even a breast, dare I say it?
    Your story was perfect.
    Laura

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  4. Wow, what an opening salve for your first post to the Fictioneers. I love the feeling of inevitability you create, and the confusion of the first few lines. I read it as, he’s failed to light the tower and the ship is going to sink, but either way I don’t see things going well for our lighthouse keeper.

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    • Hello Elmo and thank you. I have been absolutely blown away with the kind comments I have received for my story and thrilled to bits that people have enjoyed it. I have been blogging since last October and I have never had so many responses to any of my written posts so I am really buzzing at the moment!

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  5. this is brilliant – you’ve squeezed so much in – not only his drunken fall, but also the boat that might crash. Really lovely writing – I look forward to reading more of your stuff 😀

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  6. Dear JWD,
    Buzz away. Here comes another. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. Very nice first offering. Glad you finally joined us instead of observing from afar. I felt your MC’s frustration and pain. Guilt added to injury.
    Nice job.
    Shalom,
    Rochelle

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    • Hello Rochelle, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. What a wonderful welcome everyone has given me to the Fictioneers, and so nice to make so many new friends.

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  7. Ooh, I love the photo and the writing. I especially like this line: “A scream scours the whitewashed tower in search of escape.” What is “Friday Fictioneers” all about?

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    • Thanks, I am glad you liked it. Friday Fictioneers is a group of people from all over the world that once a week post a 100 word story written from a photo prompt that is posted by the host, Rochelle, on her site. Anyone can join in the fun, so if you feel like dipping your toe you will be most welcome. You can click the little frog guy at the end of the post to be taken to other people’s stories too. Have fun, James

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  8. This prompt was my first foray here as well. So we are then in the same boat? Though my first love is writing poetry.

    I’ve liked the idea so much I’ve written several 100 word stories since… Alastair and I have a series going too –

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