Hello everyone, this is my first effort at Friday Fictioneers so be gentle with me! Hope you like it, comments are welcome and guarantee a reciprocal visit.
Photo Copyright – Jennifer Pendergast
Wilfred looks up, an enormous, unblinking eye regards him from above. A scream scours the whitewashed tower in search of escape.
Senses begin to unscramble. Not an eye, the light over the stairwell.
The fog! The light! Twisted and bloody legs defy his urgent will.
Wilfred curses. Tomorrow the boat home, Tonight the single malt – then the radio warning.
A stagger, a slip on the stair, then oblivion.
Nothing to be done but to wait for help.
Somewhere out beyond the rocks a ship’s horn sounds blindly in the fog.
Wilfred grits his teeth, and prays.
jwdwrites 
I can’t think of a nastier place to fall. Well done.
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Thank you!
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I did enjoy reading this. Flowed well, an excellent and original take on the photo prompt! thank you and welcome!
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Hello Penny, thank you for your kind words.
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Hello, you’re welcome. I did like your story, keep writing! 🙂
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Welcome, jwd from jmw, AKA janet! I really like your first paragraph, but what a waste of a good single malt!! Excellent story.
jaent
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Hi Janet, thank you for stopping by and your lovely comments I feel very encouraged. I look forward to visiting your blog soon.
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It DOES look like a lighthouse, now that I think about it! Good story. Great way to interpret the photo. 🙂
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Thank you so much.
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I love how you can incorporate your descriptive words so well. mine always get deleted when editing down to 100 words. I must try to emulate you.
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Oh my goodness! thank you, you really are being too generous with the praise here but I am extremely grateful for your very kind words.
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Haha..too funny. We both used the word generous when replying back to each other’s comments.
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The enormous unblinking eye… a lighthouse, pictured in my mind as I read fog, you have been succinct and yet captured the details brilliantly. Welcome … your first attempt, I am sure there will be many more to come.
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Thank you Jenny, I am so glad you liked it.
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and here I am the idiot who didn’t even read the Title…but pats myself on the back for visualising a lighthouse! 🙂
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And I am happy that you got the message even without the title!
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Really atmospheric writing. I love its staccato nature – adds well to the action. My only comment would be ‘a ship’s horn sounds blindly’ – I’m not sure about a horn sounding blindly. But maybe I’m being too literal.
Claire
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I laughed out loud when I read your comment. Yes a ship’s horn sounding blindly does sound odd and a bit humorous when taken in isolation. Perhaps I took a bit too much license with that one but I really wanted to get across the helplessness of the ship and there weren’t many words left!
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You had me wondering what was going on until the 5th paragraph. Well done. And welcome to FF.
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Thank you for making me feel so welcome.
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Title or not, the horn in the fog tells the tale of where this takes place. I’m hurting from the reading. Feeling like I fell, too. So, that’s a good job, I think.
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Thank you Jennifer, for reading and taking the trouble to comment. I really appreciate it and I hope it didn’t hurt too much!
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I hope someone does come. I felt the damp and cold reading this. Nice writing.
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Thank you very much.
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The single malt has been the ruin of many a man, but in a lighthouse, well, poor Wilfred. It is true, the more I look at that photo it reminds me of an eye – or even a breast, dare I say it?
Your story was perfect.
Laura
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Hello Laura, I hadn’t thought of it resembling a breast or I may have come up with something altogether different! Thank you for your generous comment
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I can feel the frustration and urgency.
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I sure hope someone comes to help!
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Too late I think!
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Wow, what an opening salve for your first post to the Fictioneers. I love the feeling of inevitability you create, and the confusion of the first few lines. I read it as, he’s failed to light the tower and the ship is going to sink, but either way I don’t see things going well for our lighthouse keeper.
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Hello Elmo and thank you. I have been absolutely blown away with the kind comments I have received for my story and thrilled to bits that people have enjoyed it. I have been blogging since last October and I have never had so many responses to any of my written posts so I am really buzzing at the moment!
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this is brilliant – you’ve squeezed so much in – not only his drunken fall, but also the boat that might crash. Really lovely writing – I look forward to reading more of your stuff 😀
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Hello Ela, thanks for your words of encouragement, I can’t wait ’til next time now!
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Dear JWD,
Buzz away. Here comes another. Welcome to Friday Fictioneers. Very nice first offering. Glad you finally joined us instead of observing from afar. I felt your MC’s frustration and pain. Guilt added to injury.
Nice job.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Hello Rochelle, thanks for taking the time to read and comment. What a wonderful welcome everyone has given me to the Fictioneers, and so nice to make so many new friends.
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Hi, very well told, I can feel the panic and the angst of being trapped there.
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Hello Björn, I am glad you liked it, thanks for commenting.
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Ooh, I love the photo and the writing. I especially like this line: “A scream scours the whitewashed tower in search of escape.” What is “Friday Fictioneers” all about?
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Thanks, I am glad you liked it. Friday Fictioneers is a group of people from all over the world that once a week post a 100 word story written from a photo prompt that is posted by the host, Rochelle, on her site. Anyone can join in the fun, so if you feel like dipping your toe you will be most welcome. You can click the little frog guy at the end of the post to be taken to other people’s stories too. Have fun, James
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I have heard it is not the fall that hurts but the sudden stop. I think he can identify.
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Hi Joe, I think you are right! Thanks for stopping by.
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This prompt was my first foray here as well. So we are then in the same boat? Though my first love is writing poetry.
I’ve liked the idea so much I’ve written several 100 word stories since… Alastair and I have a series going too –
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I will come back and dip my toe!
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this was really good and had a scary effect. Thank you for visiting my post
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Thank you Nightlake, and you are most welcome.:)
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