Did you know, the average husband spends 375 days, or slightly over a year of his life washing up Tupperware?
Or that in 2015, rows over Tupperware resulted in more marital breakdowns than rows over infidelity?
You may be astounded to hear that scientists estimate that if all the pieces of Tupperware in an average kitchen were laid end to end they would reach into space.
Most household Tupperware equivalent food storage receptacles contain Polymyelomiecines which are carcinogenic and can leach into the food stored within them with devastating consequences including but not limited to:
Cancer, hypertension, insomnia, narcolepsy, irritable bowel syndrome, bloating, obesity, gangrene, testicular torsion, impotence, flatulence, dsyliksia, Incontinence, Tourette’s syndrome, short term memory loss, bulimia, binge drinking and short term memory loss.
PLEASE DON’T PANIC!
Fortunately, taking a few simple precautions can help reduce the risks associated with this ubiquitous and highly dangerous product:
1. Be vigilant, check out Aldi and Lidl superbuy warnings weekly online to avoid chance encounters.
2. Purchase quality internet security programs that prevent searching for restricted terms that you can control.
3. Take her out for dinner, thus avoiding Chinese and Indian takeaways that lead to hours of washing greasy, disgusting food containers.
4. Insist on a prenup.
5. If all else fails, try celibacy.
The Author warrants that at the time of going to press none of the above facts have been independently verified and as such should be regarded as inadmissible in a court of law. The Author further states that any similarity with persons either living or dead are purely accidental and that names, characters, businesses, places, events and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or used in a fictitious manner. 😉