Welcome all to this weeks Friday Fictioneers hosted by Rochelle Wisoff-Fields. The idea is to write a story that has a beginning a middle and an end in as close as possible to 100 words from the weekly photo prompt supplied. I hope you all enjoy. π
Copyright Ted Strutz
Journey’s End (100 Words)
Anne had always loved a beautiful sunset. She gazed at the rich purple and orange hues that bled into the darkening sky and wondered if life might yet deliver a little more colour than the monochrome existence she shared with Arthur, her introverted husband.
At the next table a couple were holding hands and smiling, deep in conversation. She studied her own husband, hunched over the jigsaw puzzle, oblivious to the scenery and his bored spouse.
Arthur glanced at the approaching shore, βI think our journey is almost over,β he remarked.
βYes Arthur, I think you might just be right.β
Love the idea!
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Thanks Ryan. π
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A life story in 100 words.
Superb.
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Thanks Elephant π
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Agreed!
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So sad. Communication is key.
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So true, Dawn. Thanks for reading. π
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Dear JWD,
This was near perfect. When the time comes, it’s over. Very well written. One note, and a subjective one, to boot….I think skies would read better as sky. Good flow throughout, whatever you decide.
Aloha,
Doug
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You are right of course Doug, good to see you and thanks for your helpful input. π
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Dear JWD,
Gracious responses like yours keep me venturing into the deep water of constructive criticism. Thanks for being so nice.
Aloha,
Doug
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Always welcome. π
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Very well wrought ending to a dismal marriage. I just have one question. I guess most of the ferries I have taken have been in Europe. Is it the thing to do jigsaw puzzles on ferries in America? Nearly everyone this week has a jigsaw puzzle in their story…
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Hi Lindaura good to see you again. In answer to your question there is actually a jigsaw puzzle on the table in the photoprompt. π
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Beautifully neat in every way. Loved it.
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Thanks Mike. π
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So much meaning behind the last line that I can tell went right past poor Arthur’s head. Great story, both happy and sad at the same time.
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Hi J, Can I call you J? I am glad that you picked up that last line, I am sure that Arthur missed the subtext. I wanted to use the sunset as a metaphor for the relationship, but hey, we only have 100 words! Thank you so much for reading and taking the trouble to comment. π
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Feel free to call me J. And it is no trouble commenting on something I enjoy π
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π
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awww very good and I can actually relate. π
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Thanks Anja. π
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Wonderful ending! You capture the longing and sadness of a long marriage gone south… having faded out. Really well written; nice job! After writing the stories… Each week, I truly look forward to reading the other stories. This one is especially good!
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Thank you so much for reading and for your very kind comments. π
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I think many of us in long marriages can relate to you post… really well done.
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Lovely story, and time I think for both of them to disembark. Great use of the prompt.
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Your right Sandra that ship has definitely sailed. Thanks for reading. π
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That was precious π
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Thanks Camgirl. π
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Dear JWD,
Beautifully told from beginning to perfect end. I felt her despair and loneliness. Not a word out of place.
shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle, I am so glad you liked it. π
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this was wonderfully crafted. i really like how you compared their relationship to a journey that’s about to end.
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Thanks KZ, I’m glad you liked it. π
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I liked the color/monochrome thing… yes, gazing out that window will cause deep introspection. The husband may be doing a lot jigsaw puzzles from now on.
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I think you are absolutely right there Ted, thanks for reading and also for the prompt. π
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That’s sad, but such a great story. Your small details are perfect.
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Thanks David, I always appreciate your comments. π
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Oh, dear, poor unsuspecting Arthur. Great job with the black and white/colour imagery.
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Thank you Draliman. π
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Thank you for the visit and the like of my Weekly Photo Challenge post “Let There Be Light”.
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You are very welcome. π
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Wake up, Arthur, before you have nothing left in life but jigsaw puzzles. Well done!
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Hi K.D. Thanks for reading. π
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Indeed… Sounds like a reasonable conclusion
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A tight write with room for a sympathetic response from your reader. Very nicely done.
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Loved the imagery and then the parallel you drew with the boat’s journey and their’s-awesome!
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Thank you for reading and for your kind words. π
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π
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