Friday Fictioneers 23rd August 2013 hosted by Rochelle Wisoff Fields
THE CHALLENGE:
Write a one hundred word story that has a beginning, middle and end.
THE KEY:
Make every word count.
Copyright –Claire Fuller
The Gist (100 Words)
Maybeck scanned the ancient cemetery, pale eyes lighting on a solitary stone beneath a gnarled and knotty sentinel.
He scraped the amber lichen and traced the pitted inscription with thin, weathered fingers. “He lies beneath. God willing, there be time.” From a small vial he sprinkled tiny droplets over the grave, whispering softly; βSanctifico, Sanctifico…β
In darkening skies, roiling clouds gathered and took form.
Far below, streaking through soil and clay, the Gist was coming. It rose in fury, breaking ground with a single malevolent purpose.
Nerve failing, Maybeck collapsed in desperate supplication.
Eyes averted, he never saw the blow.
Dear JWD,
I have no idea but some…and now never want to know the Gist of things.
A very well written story.
Aloha,
Doug
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Thanks Doug, I appreciate you reading and taking the trouble to comment. π
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Suspenseful and eerie – you wrapped a lot into the 100 word limit very effectively!
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Thank you. π
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I guess that’ll teach him to mess with powers he doesn’t understand!
Brilliant name for the entity -“The Gist”. I particularly like the line “collapsed in desperate supplication” – sounds like Maybeck knows at that point he may have made a mistake.
Well written π
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I think you are right. Thanks for reading. π
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Very tight writing, JWD. This weaned me from wanting to know the Gist of things.
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Thanks Russell he’s not that bad when you get know him. π
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I sense of series of movies about the Gist! Unless he turns out to be cute, which I doubt.
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He’s probably just misunderstood. π
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well done..i like the suspense and mystery. and of course,the lesson to never mess with stuff unless youβre powerful or wise enough to control it π
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Which of course Maybeck isn’t. Thanks for stopping by. π
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There’s a lot in here – well done.
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Thanks Sandra. π
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Dear JWD,
You have used word-paint to deftly create a scene. Well done.
Shalom,
Rochelle
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Thank you Rochelle. π
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Begin with a mystery and leave us with one…clever.
Will the drops have been enough to revive what lay beneath?
Will a new hero be unveiled next week?
There are always a few tricks up the sleeves of writers. I once long ago did read an unconventional story about Vampires where they were able eventually to be out in the day and not have to drink human blood (I think) – not related to the Sookie Stackhouse ‘True Blood’ series.
But that isn’t what Alastair has up his sleeve. And alas I am sworn to secrecy… π
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Guess I’ll just have to wait and see… π
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